Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-7831 (?)
- SCP-7831 is a type of deep-sea fish that looks like a large oarfish but has human-like internal organs, including human DNA, adapted for living in the ocean. These fish also contain high levels of a toxic substance called quicksilver. If a human eats the flesh of SCP-7831, they will stop aging and their body will rejuvenate, healing any existing damage. The SCP Foundation contains these creatures by enforcing fishing laws around Minamata Bay, Japan, requiring all caught fish to be screened for a cover story about "Infectious Marine Parasites." The article also details how exposure to quicksilver can cause humans to transform into these fish, as seen in an incident involving U.S. military personnel who ate the fish and began to change.
- Hitler Has Only Got One Ball (?)
- "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" is a satirical British song from World War II, sung to the tune of the "Colonel Bogey March," which mocks Nazi leaders by suggesting they have missing, deformed, or undersized testicles. The most common version claims Adolf Hitler had only one testicle, Hermann Göring and Heinrich Himmler had very small ones, and Joseph Goebbels had none at all. The lyrics, whose author is unknown, emerged among British soldiers in 1939 and were adopted by Allied forces and civilians to boost morale through political mockery, equating defective testicles with a lack of courage. Its familiarity significantly increased after the tune was featured in the 1957 film *The Bridge on the River Kwai*, and it has since been widely referenced in popular culture, contributing to enduring public theories about Hitler's alleged monorchism.